LA Cocktail Class

The Perfect Ratio

 

Deep in the heart of old Downtown Los Angeles, between Boyle Heights and the Fashion District, 18 LA5 Rotarians and their spouses gathered at Greenbar Distillery, self-labeled as the “oldest distillery in Los Angeles”, to celebrate their common interest: hard alcohol, and how to make it more palatable so as to drink more of it.

The mood of the afternoon was set by the Honorable John Green when he inquired as to the strength of the spirits; his concern was that we would be unable to drive after imbibing three drinks. Not allaying his concerns, one of the instructors quickly noted that the organic spirits were in fact at least 43 proof and that if Judge Green wished to mitigate his beverage’s strength, he was in full control of how much simple syrup he added. Objection overruled.

We learned several important lessons in the class:

  • If you are using a steel boston shaker and a pint glass to shake your drink, do not aim it at anyone you care about. Kiwanians are OK.

  • To loosen the glass from the shaker, do not hand it to Paul Ekstrand, he will use his magic powers to get your drink out, and then finish it for you as well.

  • Jalapeños make for an excellent muddling ingredient, especially if you do not want Paul to finish your drink.

  • If you’re looking for a serious lesson in this article, too bad, you should have come to the class.

Liz Skrzat, LA5's Social Events Chair, did a fantastic job setting up this event; despite this, refused to drink anything made. Either she poisoned everything, or she will be fined in the near future for a life-changing event that makes her unable to drink. I’ll let you know after my hangover subsides...or I die.